L'esprit de l'escalier

It's all about the timing.

Name:
Location: Memphis, Tennessee, United States

I'd rather be somewhere else most of the time and I'm a huge practitioner of staircase wit.

4/23/2005

a miniscule amount of people

when i say miniscule, i mean small. tiny. an infinitesimal amount of people get to know me well enough to have me speak sincerely to them all the time. fuck, actually, maybe no one does, in fact. i deal with everyone i know on a different plane. and it's tiring and frustrating and limiting and i don't know who the fuck i am. i'm a teenager w/out a mind of my own. i'm 29 years old and i don't know who i am. is my husband the one who knows me the best? my ex? my best friend? my mother? i honestly don't know.

i'm going to see a therapist to find out. i want to know before it's too late. i feel the most sincere when i'm reading a good story.

about someone else.

does anyone else have this inability to reach deep within themself and dig out the real thing, the core of you, and speak? there's no way i could ever put into words how badly i want to be able to do that. my soul hurts that i can't and my guts are tied into knots with the worry that i'll never learn. i'm 29 years old.

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