L'esprit de l'escalier

It's all about the timing.

Location: Memphis, Tennessee, United States

I'd rather be somewhere else most of the time and I'm a huge practitioner of staircase wit.


Why won't you shut up?

There's this Colgate commercial with this girl all close-up and intimate on tv lately, talking about brushing her teeth in the morning. She's talking and all the sudden she says something about seeing "a little pink in the sink". I swear this is the grossest fucking imagery in a commercial. It's a toothpaste commercial for crying out loud, don't be so gross.

I'm a little bit hungover this morning. David and I drank Brandy and Gin and Sparkling water with a hint of lime last night and talked until it was almost light outside. We also ate Girl Scout cookies- Thin Mints- that I bought from some Girl Scouts in the parking lot outside of the grocery store, yesterday. I remember being the girl standing out there begging people to buy my cookies, and now I'm the buyer. It's a first for me. I told my husband this was a monumental moment. He said I've come full cirle, but I told him no, not yet. Full circle will be when I'm standing out there with my own daughter.

We talked last night until our throats hurt. Until we couldn't talk anymore, until we could barely keep our heads up, until our mouths were too dry to swallow properly. I learned things about him that I didn't know before. He's not usually that talkative when it comes to the way he was raised or his childhood. I'm usually the one talking someone's head off. Instead I listened. I asked probing questions and I listened, but I wish I would've had a tape recorder.

I also received my diploma in the mail this weekend from the University of Memphis. Here's what's funny. I live in an apartment where the mailboxes are too small to put large packages in so when something oversized comes, the mailperson will stick a key in your box which tells you to go to the right where there's a larger box and that's where you'll find your package. I'm not accustomed to this setup, however, so when I opened the mailbox and saw a key, I was all, "Who the fuck put a key in our mailbox?" In fact, I was still pondering this question while David was excitedly pushing past me to find out who sent us a package. It was my diploma. Telling me how smart I am. Ha- silly them. So, I actually finished my degree over a year ago but there was some trouble paying off my debts that were not technically loans so they were holding onto my shit for me. They're very thoughtful that way. My parents eventually tired of my excuses and paid the rest of my debt last fall for me and now I have a diploma to frame and put on my wall. But I probably won't, I'll just leave it on the bookshelf where I placed it immediately after I hugged it and kissed it for awhile and love it from there. It took me 10 years to get that piece of paper, but I goddamn earned it, and I LOVE it. Thanks mom and dad.


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