L'esprit de l'escalier

It's all about the timing.

Location: Memphis, Tennessee, United States

I'd rather be somewhere else most of the time and I'm a huge practitioner of staircase wit.


You're not all that skinny yourself, you know.

Not that I've ever carefully guarded my weight from my husband or anything, I've just never told him the actual numbers. It wasn't something I thought he should know, I guess. Or I probably have told him and he just forgot. So, this morning when I told him what the numbers were, his eyes bugged out of his head. And considering the honest, open guy that he is, he didn't even try to hold back his dismay. He's all, "are you serious, you weigh THAT much?" So, I'm all, "you mother fucker, I didn't tell you so you could make me feel like a big stupid bag of 165 bricks, hell." (How much does one brick weigh?)

Anyway, a few minutes later, as I was undressing to shower from the gym, he looks at me in all my nudey glory and says thoughtfully, "you don't look that bad." But he says it with a question. Like either he's not certain or he's unsure how he really feels about it, since he apparently thought most respectful girls weighed 120-lbs or less. It's just a number; I know that and you know that. I guess I shouldn't have assumed that my husband knew that.

Why are we so obsessed with numbers, anyway? I went to a website recently that told me I was moderately overweight. I don't feel overweight. I know I don't look it, especially compared to most of the people I see every day. I feel a little pudgy, but really, overweight? What is this all about? What sucks the most is that I was always the skinny one. And I'm not anymore. And my husband isn't lying to me for the sake of protecting my self-image. Because my image is stronger than that. It really is. I don't enjoy him rubbing it in that I've put on some pounds.. okay, I've packed them on.. but it doesn't constitute how I feel about myself on a daily basis.

And that's not an easy feat these days.


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