L'esprit de l'escalier

It's all about the timing.

Location: Memphis, Tennessee, United States

I'd rather be somewhere else most of the time and I'm a huge practitioner of staircase wit.


I've got a couple things

First, my husband let it slip tonight that my ass isn't as tight and nice as it used to be. I know that. Of course I know that, it's MY ass. But I did not know that he noticed. This depresses me so much that I have tears in my eyes. What's wrong with this picture? The tears, that's what's wrong! How could I ever let myself tear up over something so superficial as my ASS? He spent the next hour talking himself out of it without lying to me.

"Yeah, it's a little bigger. But I still like it."
But you used to like how it looked. What do you like now, if you don't like how it looks?
"I like how it looks. It still gives me an erection."
Great, you've told me what it takes to give you an erection. That's not exactly all too impressive. What about my ass, though? What about it is that different?
Yes, seriously. What is it??
"Well, it's not as tight. It's got pocks."
"I don't like you because of your ass, baby. You know that."
But you like my ass, and if you don't like my ass then that's something you don't like about me.
"I still like your ass, it just looks a little different. It's not a big deal, I promise."

This went on for a little bit. All the while he's getting ready to go hang out with some dude who claims to have been excorsized. What the fuck?

He left the house, kissing me, determined to make me laugh before he left. He succeeded. About a minute after he left, he brings back a HUGE branch off a palm tree that must've fallen on the ground right outside our door. Without saying a word, he stands it up inside the kitchen and leaves again. There's a huge palm frond leaning against the kitchen counter, just staring at me. The dog won't go near it.

I love this man.

I said I had a couple things, didn't I? I swear I did when I started. I must've forgotten because my ass is so huge.


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